Thank God for Public Healthcare

I apologize for my two day departure from writing, but my trip to a Pro-Choice rally ended up being very dangerous. As it turns out, my Pro-Life opponents were also carrying assault rifles, making for a very dicey situation. The whole thing turned ugly when they referred to me as a "baby killer," and I responded that I was simply a "Stem-Cell Farmer." Luckily, no weapons were fired, mine wasn't even loaded; I was just demonstrating my right to bear arms, as all patriots should.

Anyway, I ended up with a couple of pretty serious scrapes that I thought needed prompt medical attention. Unfortunately, I am one of 47 million uninsured Americans. However, my injuries led me to discover America's secret public healthcare option. I don't know how I had never heard of it, President Bush informed the nation back in 2007 when he stated, "I mean, people have access to health care in America...After all, you just go to an emergency room." Well, I did and it was wonderful. I waited patiently for three hours with some friendly migrant workers who were there for annual check-ups under the cover of flu-like symptoms, you know, the necessities, and then I was treated. The hospital informed me that a bill for the services would arrive in the mail, but my friends, Jose and Julio had already taught me a trick for that, just put down false information. I took their advice, and there you have it, free healthcare for everybody.

The whole experience was a revelation for me. How have we let this healthcare debate get so heated, when we don't even have a healthcare crisis? Who needs insurance when the emergency rooms are required to treat everybody? The conservatives are all up in arms, because they claim that illegal immigrants would be covered under Obama's healthcare plan. Well they wouldnt, and I'm not entirely sure, but Jose and Julio might not be legal, and they aren't having any problems under the Bush, Emergency Room policy. It's not just the conservatives, the liberals are out of control as well. The other day, while watching a town hall meeting in Massachusetts; I found out that President Obama and his fellow democrats, like Congressman Barney Frank, are pursuing an agenda reminiscent of the policies instituted in Nazi Germany. It's true, the Neo-Nazi movement is full of African-Americans and gay Jews. Barney Frank was so offended about being compared to a Nazi, that he likened the woman making the accusations to a dining room table. Come on Barney, dining room tables can't talk. In this great nation we are all created equal, and she's just the person who leaves four or more pegs on the Cracker Barrel table game...she is an ignoramus. I love that game, and you can't beat breakfast all day. Now I'm craving Momma's Pancake Breakfast, and for the record, I'm just plain dumb.

Enough about Cracker Barrel, how can this nation be healed? Where can we find common ground? On the left we have an unlikely Neo-Nazi movement attempting to implement oppressive, socialist policies and on the right we have gun-toting ignorants. Lets start by asking a simple question. Is healthcare an individual's right or a luxury? In my opinion, in this nation of abundant wealth and extravagance, healthcare for legal American citizens is a right. If that makes me a socialist or a Nazi, then heil Obama, because this nation needs healthcare reform.

The legitimate question is: How are we going to pay to insure the 47 million uninsured Americans? The sad part about this debate is that the one legitimate question is being drowned out by absurd misinformation about the intentions of the plan. Lets recognize that taxpayers already pay for many Americans who treat emergency rooms like clinics. Care in emergency rooms is very expensive and by providing a public option that covers check-ups and preventative care, we can slash the expenses that we are already paying. Additionally, a public option will provide a balance to the system that will allow individuals who can afford healthcare, but are denied because of pre-existing conditions, the ability to get coverage. Also, lets change our mentality and be proactive instead of reactive. If we would spend half as much money on preventative medicine as we do on responsive medicine, then our nation could begin to get healthy and costs could actually come down.

Finally, thank you Barney Frank for standing up to the protesters who are silencing the logical debate. I know that those types of irrational and ignorant protesters are only a small fraction of the opposition. It is about time that someone put them in their place so we can focus on the real issues and the real debate. Find the money, find common ground and get healthcare reform passed, it is a moral imperative.